I've always dreaded dinners with people that I don't know well. It isn't that my conversation skills are lacking, or that I am an overly shy person. But there's one question that I hate answering: "what do you do?" I respond simply that I'm a housewife, and quickly turn the conversation back to my guests. I am not ashamed that I don't have a career other than being a wife, but I've always felt like people look down on me for not doing more with my life.
I graduated in December 2012 with a degree in European History. I was at the top of my class. I graduated a semester early because I took 18 credits a semester and pushed myself to the limit. I was one class short of a double major. I would have gone to grad school if I'd never met my husband, but I was fortunate enough to marry a man who loves me enough to let me choose whether I want to work or not. Without sounding too pompous, I'm a fairly intelligent person, and I like to think that is evident in my conversation.
Most people are too courteous to question my decision to be a housewife, but in nearly every case the looks I get ask: "Don't you want to do more with your life?"
My simple answer is no.
Just because I don't get up at 6:30 every morning, get ready, and rush out the door to get to work on time doesn't mean that I don't "work". I clean the house, do the dishes, fix dinner, and run errands. This allows my husband to come home to a house that is (normally) clean and a home-cooked meal. He can focus more on his work instead of fretting about having clean socks and lunch meat for the next day.
Being at home every day allows me personal growth, too. I read, write, play the piano, and sew. In the last few months, I've made six charity quilts, with another in progress. This does not include other projects that I have completed for myself, family, and friends. I helped with Vacation Bible School last week and attended a seminar at church the week before, both opportunities that would have been more challenging if I worked outside of the home. This is just a short list, which I could expound upon for at least another paragraph.
I can also focus more on my husband's needs. Part of marriage is recognizing your spouse's needs and doing your best to accommodate them. While he's in aviation training, he spends most of the day and evening studying. So by fixing him dinner and doing the laundry, I'm doing the only thing I can to help him through flight school. Staying home also allows me to spend what little time I can with him, according to his schedule, without distracting him too much from his studies.
I could go on for hours about the benefits to not working, but my point is this: I am doing plenty with my life. What is more important than helping my best friend and husband in what he needs? Helping at church? Cooking for the flight students who are having a study session in our living room? Not working outside the home opens up numerous possibilities -- possibilities which I'm incredibly grateful to have. I have the chance to help other people, to make their lives easier, and to perform my vocation as a wife and friend.
I won't say that there aren't negative aspects to being a housewife. Our income is limited to an officer's salary, which means watching our finances and limiting our spending. My friendships are limited to church friends and my husband's Navy friends, since I don't have work relationships to cultivate. And I don't have the deadlines that I would have had in grad school that would have forced me to heighten my knowledge through research and lecture.
So next time you meet a housewife, don't judge her for not doing more with her life. She has chosen a career just like you have. She is serving her family so that their lives are more comfortable and enjoyable. She is impacting the world just as much as you by raising her children to be respectful, intelligent people. She is sacrificing herself and her desire for the people that she loves.
And honestly, I think I have the best job in the world.
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