That Ain't No Way to Treat a Lady

I grew up listening to country music. The country mentality fit with my lifestyle more than rap, pop, or any other type of music. Throughout high school and half of college, I stopped listening to country music because I recognized that some country artists were more trashy than country. Eventually I realized that not all country artists are trashy, and thus I began listening again.

I've learned to overlook the occasional trashy song that comes onto the radio, although the inability for country music to differentiate between white trash and redneck still bothers me. But another trend has arisen in country music, one that I think is more serious than the handful of trashy country songs.

Country music doesn't respect women anymore.

Honestly, it isn't just country music; it's a general lack of respect for people throughout modern culture. I grew up with the ideal that country boys knew how to treat a lady -- with respect and kindness. Fortunately, I married a country boy who does treat me well. Those of you who know me know that I am far from a feminist, but I do believe strongly that everyone deserves respect. Feminists demand equality; a lady demands respect.

But think about it. The majority of country music artists are guys, therefore the focus is on women. Every other song on the radio is about 1. a guy seeing a hot girl and hooking up with her, 2. a guy picking up a hot girl at the bar and taking her home, or 3. a guy seeing a hot girl, thinking that she looks good, and wanting to be with her. It's all the same theme with different variations. Sure, there's the occasional break up or drinking song, but the popular songs are the ones that talk about a girl's looks and the desire to be physical with her.

A couple months ago, I discovered this song. If you haven't seen the music video, it's hysterical and I highly suggest listening/watching before reading the rest of this post.

These girls are spot on. Here are the lyrics to the chorus:

Bein' the girl in a country song
How in the world did it go so wrong?
Like all we're good for
Is looking good for you and your friends on the weekend
Nothing more
We used to get a little respect
Now we're lucky if we even get
To climb up in your truck, keep my mouth shut and ride along
And be the girl in a country song

If all I was only good for was looking good for my husband, I never would have married him. To quote Jane Eyre, "I am a free human being with an independent will." I have ideas, desires, and interests that surpass my beauty by far. I have worth beyond my inadequate looks. And I'm not the only woman in the world who doesn't wish to be desirable because of her beauty. I would guess that most mature and sensible women wish to be judged for their mind, not their body.

The unforeseen issue that arises from such a focus is a lack of respect. Is checking out a girl's body, or even a guy's body because women aren't immune to this, and lusting after that person respectful? Certainly not. It isn't respectful to them or yourself. Focusing on the physical aspect instead of the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual aspects causes many of the issues which plague society today. I know so many people who lament the inability to find a suitable significant other and, potentially, future spouse. Modern culture tells us that finding romantic happiness is going to the bar, seeing someone desirable, and making a move. I project that this leads to many more one night stands or relationships founded on physical desires, which in turn result in heartbreak, unexpected pregnancy, and even divorce.

My favorite line in this song sums it up: "That ain't no way to treat a lady." I know that some women have no desire to be a "lady", mainly because feminism makes women want to be less feminine. Being a lady doesn't mean sipping tea from a tea cup and discussing fashion and society all day. Being a lady is knowing what is proper and keeping your legs crossed. Most people would probably say that I am old fashioned, and they would be right. But I also have standards for myself and being judged as trashy or rude isn't one of them. And being a lady doesn't prohibit you from doing fun things like drinking, 4-wheeling, cursing, or shooting. Few people would disagree that I'm a lady, and I drink whiskey straight from the bottle and I can curse well enough to make a sailor blush. (If you don't believe me, come visit while we're playing COD.)

The media (music, television, etc) projects an image that the young and influential strive to achieve. In the country world, girls want to wear cut-offs or tight jeans and ornate cowboy boots, and guys look for that in a female. I won't lie, my favorite jeans are rather tight and I wear short shorts. But if I'm doing anything "country", I'm in work jeans and work boots.

Last time I was visiting home, I finally got to try out my dad's 4-wheeler, which he got shortly before I moved to Florida. As you can see, work jeans, boots, an old SLP t-shirt, and a Navy ball cap. Be smart, ladies.

News flash: cut offs and tight jeans are really useless unless you're going out. Try throwing hay bales, or doing any type of work on the farm, in shorts and a tank top. Your arms and legs will be scratched to Hell within about twenty minutes. And your pretty little boots will be ruined the second you step in the mud. And seriously, when the sun sets, you're going to be freezing in cut offs. But if you like being uncomfortable, be my guest.

So men, have a little respect for ladies. Don't look for a pretty face with no brains inside. Love a woman for her intelligence, not her beauty or how good she looks in a pair of jeans. Ladies, have a little respect for yourselves. Refuse to be judged for your pretty face. And if you're a true country girl, don't be stereotypical. Don't be the girl in the country song. Be sensible. Cut offs aren't always the proper clothing option.

Guys and gals alike, don't let the music industry's ideal affect your lifestyle. Don't look for love in the wrong places, and when you find it, love for reasons other than physical beauty. And for goodness sake, go listen to some classic country if you really want to experience country music.

 

This is the ideal that I try to live up to. And yes, my belt does have my name on it.