A Day in the Life of a Navy Wife

Contrary to popular belief, being a military spouse (even as a housewife) isn't all fun and games. Sure the pay and benefits are fantastic... but when the Navy decides to throw a wrench in all your plans, you start to ask yourself if it's really worth it. So here's a day in my life as the wife of a naval avaitor-in-training.

***

0700: Wake up. Roll over. Husband? Nope, not there. Oh right, now I remember. He had a 6:30 brief for a flight at... I can't remember the time. But he'll be home... sometime.

0715: Coffee.

0800: What am I doing today? Um. Proofreading (assuming I can concentrate), reading, sewing. I should probably do dishes. And clean things. The living room looks like a tornado hit a flight school, but I have to accept the fact that there are things I can't change in life. Like the fact that airplanes are the only topic of conversation in our house anymore.

0830: I should get breakfast. But I really like Facebook right now.

0900: What am I making for dinner? Well, that depends on what is going on tomorrow. Does my husband have a flight? I don't know, and I won't know until this evening. So... what should I bring down from the freezer? I better plan for him having a flight, even though it'll probably get canceled due to weather because Florida hates everyone. (You are probably asking, what is the correlation between flying and dinner? Well, certain foods cause air sickness, so if the husband has a flight, he eats very light dinners.)

1000: I believe I hear the husband's truck backing into the driveway.

1002: Mmmm. Flight suit.

1015: How was your flight? Oh, it was canceled due to weather. Shocking. Yeah, it does look nasty outside. Do you have a flight tomorrow? No, you aren't on the tentative schedule. Do you have duty tomorrow? No, not as far as you know. Well, that's helpful. Kinda. But I still won't change what I'm planning on cooking.

T-6 Texan, the training plane used at NASWF.

1100: Craaaap. Does he have clean undershirts and socks for tomorrow? When did I last do laundry? Oh, he doesn't have any more tan shirts clean to go with the tan flight suit, but he still has some black shirts. I guess he's wearing the green flight suit, then.

1200: Lunch.

1230: "Oh look, the clouds are going away! Someone can fly! Not me, but someone." (Yes, my husband just said that.)

1300: The guys are coming over for dinner. Advanced notice is for losers. Guess the steak is going back into the freezer. I have nothing else that will feed four people and keep in mind food restrictions. Oh, John thinks he only has a sim tomorrow? That helps SO much. I guess it's time to rearrange the menu or run to the commissary... But I don't feel like going out. I can rearrange the menu. Burgers it is.

1400: More coffee, this time with booze. It's 5 o'clock somewhere.

1500: If the guys are coming over, I need to make sure the house looks semi presentable. But... netflix.

1600: OK, now I actually have to do things. Like start dinner.

1700: Is the schedule out yet? No. Isn't it supposed to come out around this time? Yes.

1730: Look! Avaitors! Guess what the topic of conversation is going to be tonight. And guess how much of it I'm going to understand.

1800: Is the schedule out yet? No. Wasn't it supposed to be out an hour ago? Yes.

1900: How about now? Oh, the schedule is finally out! What do you have duty tomorrow? No. Do you have a flight tomorrow? Yes. So the tentative schedule lied? Yes. I'm glad I planned for a flight even though you didn't think you'd have one. What time is the flight? 1700? Great. Right over dinner. I guess I'm having leftovers tomorrow and you're eating when you get home. Oh but it'll probably be canceled because the weather forecast looks bad? There's nothing like having no clue what your work schedule is for the next day.

2000: Well, at least we can stay up later since the flight is way too freaking late. Never mind, we're old people. Lets go sit in bed for an hour and read because we're tired. Or fall asleep at 8:30...

***

Obviously not all of these things happen every day, otherwise I would have admitted myself to the insane asylum months ago. But every. single. day. I have to figure out what I'm cooking and try to guess what the flight schedule will be hours before it comes out. And when it does come out, it's normally several hours after it is supposed to come out. It is impossible to plan anything for the following day, because without a doubt if we want to do something, he'll be on the schedule for something. Of course, whether a flight actually happens is weather, instructor, and plane dependent, and all have a habit of being uncooperative. Some weeks are worse than others, but I'm still looking forward to the end of flight school, whenever that may be. And despite the negative sides of his flight training, I'm still thankful that my husband has a steady job that he enjoys.

Welcome to the Navy. Just remember: Semper Gumby. Always flexible.

The husband's squadron patch -- VT-2 Doerbirds.

That Ain't No Way to Treat a Lady

I grew up listening to country music. The country mentality fit with my lifestyle more than rap, pop, or any other type of music. Throughout high school and half of college, I stopped listening to country music because I recognized that some country artists were more trashy than country. Eventually I realized that not all country artists are trashy, and thus I began listening again.

I've learned to overlook the occasional trashy song that comes onto the radio, although the inability for country music to differentiate between white trash and redneck still bothers me. But another trend has arisen in country music, one that I think is more serious than the handful of trashy country songs.

Country music doesn't respect women anymore.

Honestly, it isn't just country music; it's a general lack of respect for people throughout modern culture. I grew up with the ideal that country boys knew how to treat a lady -- with respect and kindness. Fortunately, I married a country boy who does treat me well. Those of you who know me know that I am far from a feminist, but I do believe strongly that everyone deserves respect. Feminists demand equality; a lady demands respect.

But think about it. The majority of country music artists are guys, therefore the focus is on women. Every other song on the radio is about 1. a guy seeing a hot girl and hooking up with her, 2. a guy picking up a hot girl at the bar and taking her home, or 3. a guy seeing a hot girl, thinking that she looks good, and wanting to be with her. It's all the same theme with different variations. Sure, there's the occasional break up or drinking song, but the popular songs are the ones that talk about a girl's looks and the desire to be physical with her.

A couple months ago, I discovered this song. If you haven't seen the music video, it's hysterical and I highly suggest listening/watching before reading the rest of this post.

These girls are spot on. Here are the lyrics to the chorus:

Bein' the girl in a country song
How in the world did it go so wrong?
Like all we're good for
Is looking good for you and your friends on the weekend
Nothing more
We used to get a little respect
Now we're lucky if we even get
To climb up in your truck, keep my mouth shut and ride along
And be the girl in a country song

If all I was only good for was looking good for my husband, I never would have married him. To quote Jane Eyre, "I am a free human being with an independent will." I have ideas, desires, and interests that surpass my beauty by far. I have worth beyond my inadequate looks. And I'm not the only woman in the world who doesn't wish to be desirable because of her beauty. I would guess that most mature and sensible women wish to be judged for their mind, not their body.

The unforeseen issue that arises from such a focus is a lack of respect. Is checking out a girl's body, or even a guy's body because women aren't immune to this, and lusting after that person respectful? Certainly not. It isn't respectful to them or yourself. Focusing on the physical aspect instead of the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual aspects causes many of the issues which plague society today. I know so many people who lament the inability to find a suitable significant other and, potentially, future spouse. Modern culture tells us that finding romantic happiness is going to the bar, seeing someone desirable, and making a move. I project that this leads to many more one night stands or relationships founded on physical desires, which in turn result in heartbreak, unexpected pregnancy, and even divorce.

My favorite line in this song sums it up: "That ain't no way to treat a lady." I know that some women have no desire to be a "lady", mainly because feminism makes women want to be less feminine. Being a lady doesn't mean sipping tea from a tea cup and discussing fashion and society all day. Being a lady is knowing what is proper and keeping your legs crossed. Most people would probably say that I am old fashioned, and they would be right. But I also have standards for myself and being judged as trashy or rude isn't one of them. And being a lady doesn't prohibit you from doing fun things like drinking, 4-wheeling, cursing, or shooting. Few people would disagree that I'm a lady, and I drink whiskey straight from the bottle and I can curse well enough to make a sailor blush. (If you don't believe me, come visit while we're playing COD.)

The media (music, television, etc) projects an image that the young and influential strive to achieve. In the country world, girls want to wear cut-offs or tight jeans and ornate cowboy boots, and guys look for that in a female. I won't lie, my favorite jeans are rather tight and I wear short shorts. But if I'm doing anything "country", I'm in work jeans and work boots.

Last time I was visiting home, I finally got to try out my dad's 4-wheeler, which he got shortly before I moved to Florida. As you can see, work jeans, boots, an old SLP t-shirt, and a Navy ball cap. Be smart, ladies.

News flash: cut offs and tight jeans are really useless unless you're going out. Try throwing hay bales, or doing any type of work on the farm, in shorts and a tank top. Your arms and legs will be scratched to Hell within about twenty minutes. And your pretty little boots will be ruined the second you step in the mud. And seriously, when the sun sets, you're going to be freezing in cut offs. But if you like being uncomfortable, be my guest.

So men, have a little respect for ladies. Don't look for a pretty face with no brains inside. Love a woman for her intelligence, not her beauty or how good she looks in a pair of jeans. Ladies, have a little respect for yourselves. Refuse to be judged for your pretty face. And if you're a true country girl, don't be stereotypical. Don't be the girl in the country song. Be sensible. Cut offs aren't always the proper clothing option.

Guys and gals alike, don't let the music industry's ideal affect your lifestyle. Don't look for love in the wrong places, and when you find it, love for reasons other than physical beauty. And for goodness sake, go listen to some classic country if you really want to experience country music.

 

This is the ideal that I try to live up to. And yes, my belt does have my name on it.

The Standard for a Forgotten Genre: A Review

In today's modern culture where classic literature is largely ignored, the literature that shaped the 18th and 19th centuries have been shelved at the back of the library, forgotten with no hope of rekindled interest. High school and college students may read a few classic pieces such as Shakespeare and Dickens, but beyond that, many popular works of the last few centuries are lost to time. Even as a History major, I only read a handful of classic pieces during my college career, and now one of my primary goals is to compensate for my lack of literary diversity.

In my mildly educated opinion, one of the greatest forgotten genres is Gothic romance. This isn't a single author who is lost to time, but a handful of authors who would have rivaled Stephanie Meyers, J.K. Rowling, and Suzanne Collins in their day. These were popular authors and popular books which the gentry would have raved about on Twitter and Facebook and written fan fiction about the plight of the heroine if the internet existed 200 years ago. But these authors lost their popularity with the passage of time, just like most modern authors will lose their esteem eventually, too. In fact, these authors have lost so much of their popularity that, while their novels are still in print, one can't easily walk into Barnes and Noble and pick up a copy of the book. The novel has to be special ordered, or ordered off Amazon. Two of my Gothic novels, including the one which this review will discuss, came from a stack of free books at my college's library. (I was going to see a professor directly after finding these, and expressed my excitement about finding the books for free, which I expected the professor to share my excitement, but only provoked a blank stare.) So as you see, the libraries don't even want to keep Gothic novels around, most likely to make room for more popular novels!

Not all Gothic novels have been forgotten. In fact, I would surmise that the vast majority of people have heard of individual novels before they have heard of the genre of Gothic romance. The overarching label of "Gothic literature" can be extended to include Frankenstein, Jane Eyre, Northanger Abbey, Wuthering Heights, and Dracula, and even Nathaniel Hawthorne and Edgar Allen Poe are even thrown into this genre occasionally. Everyone has heard of (most of) these novels, I am sure, if only because of film adaptations of the original novels. Modern film producers love to exploit Gothic literature because of the allure of the dark, haunting feeling of the mid-19th century. A primary example of this is the upcoming film produced by Guillermo del Toro, Crimson Peak, starring Tom Hiddleston, Charlie Hunnam, and Mia Wasikowska. (Del Toro actually described this movie as a "Gothic" romance, much to my excitement.)

With all these Gothic novels being adapted for film, why do I call Gothic romance a "forgotten genre"? Because the first Gothic novels, primarily the ones written in the 18th century, have been gathering dust as they sit on the shelves. So, since my life goal is to rebel against modern culture and trends, my most recent literary conquest was the first Gothic novel, The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole.

Before I delve into a discussion of Otranto, I want to define the elements that comprise Gothic novels. Gothic novels traditionally occur during the Medieval Era, although recently the Gothic label has increasingly described the Victorian Era. As a traditionalist, I consider a Medieval setting as a primary tenant of a Gothic novel, which excludes most 19th century authors from this genre. Gothic novels normally occur in a desolate castle, monastery, or similar setting, and includes supernatural elements and unexplained, mysterious occurrences, a villain intent on projecting his desires on those around him, an imprisoned heroine who receives the brunt of the villain's wrath, a hero who embodies the Medieval chivalric ideal and saves the heroine, and a romance between the hero and the heroine that will almost definitely be forbidden by the villain. So the basic elements are eerie castles, ghosts, oppressive men, distressed females, forbidden or lost love, and lots of violence.

Gothic novels are the equivalent of modern horror novels, with Medieval tones (chivalry, ghosts, monks, etc.) The Early Modern Era, the time period which Walpole, Radcliffe and Lewis lived, was a clash of the Medieval and Modern ideas. This transition period prompted revolutions in France, Britain, and America, and laid the pathway for the Industrial Revolution among other foundations in the modern world. Perhaps one of the greatest achievements of the Early Modern Era was the disillusionment of Medieval superstition, and authors such as Radcliffe in The Mysteries of Udolpho consciously strive to aid this disillusionment by explaining the supernatural occurrences.

The Castle of Otranto includes all the elements of oppression, romance, and supernatural occurrences discussed above. According to Walpole, a dream inspired him to write Otranto, and the novel was published in 1764. He published it, falsely, as an Medieval Italian novel written between the 12th and 13th centuries and printed in Italy in 1529 which was rediscovered, translated, and published. Walpole's style is straightforward; he is not descriptive about the characters or surroundings. He tells the story without embellishment. The only frustrating part of this book was Walpole's omission of paragraphs and quotation marks. Paragraphs may last for two or more pages, and the lack of quotation marks makes differentiating between speakers difficult.

The Castle of Otranto begins the morning ofthe marriage ceremony between Conrad, the heir of the Castle Otranto, and Isabella, the daughter of the Marquis of Vicenza. But Conrad never arrives at the altar; outside, he is crushed by an enormous helmet that fell from the sky. After Manfred, the Prince of Otranto, observes that his only son and heir has been killed, he remembers a prophecy stating "That the castle and lordship of Otranto should pass from the present family, whenever the real owner should be grown too large to inhabit it." (p.17) He plans to divorce his current wife, Hippolita, who has been barren for many years, and marry Isabella. When Isabella hears of Manfred's plans, she announces that she does not wish to marry him and flees from him. She is aided by a peasant boy as she escapes through a trap door and takes refuge at the church. Manfred finds the peasant boy, named Theodore, sentences him to death for helping Isabella escape, and locks him in one of the rooms in the castle. That evening, he talks with Matilda, the daughter of Manfred, through the open window and Matilda is smitten by the chivalric young man. As Theodore is about to be executed the following day, the local friar, Jerome, recognizes Theodore's birthmark and declares that Theodore is his son. Manfred forces Jerome to choose between his son and Isabella, but before he can decide, knights from another realm arrive and demand to see Isabella. The knights and Manfred race to go find Isabella and Matilda, meanwhile, frees Theodore. Theodore arrives to defend Isabella and wounds one of the knights. The wounded knight then reveals that he is Isabella's father. They rush back to the castle, where he begins to recover, and Frederic, Isabella's father, and Manfred agrees to Frederic's marriage to Matilda in exchange for his marriage to Isabella. Manfred begins to suspect that Isabella is consorting with Theodore, he sneaks into the church and stabs Matilda, who he thinks is Isabella. Shortly before Matilda dies, it is discovered that Theodore is the true heir of Otranto. Matilda's death fulfills the prophecy, and Manfred lives in sorrow for the rest of his life. Theodore takes the throne and marries Isabella because she is the only one who understands the loss of Matilda.

It is a melodramatic story with a somber ending, but Walpole drives home his point: the sins of the father affect the sins of the children. (p. 7) The wicked (Manfred) must pay for their sins, and the good (Theodore) will succeed. Walpole also introduced marriage for love in the romance between Theodore and Matilda. While they never married, they clearly wanted to, and in the end Theodore could only marry because Isabella understood his pain. But this notion of love was a new concept (compared to arranged marriages) and it is a concept that would gradually take hold more and more through the 19th century. Morally and romantically, it is a good story. But Walpole's success isn't in his morality or his literary style. Quite frankly, Walpole isn't very accurate. The only Medieval element is his portrayal of Theodore as a chivalric "knight in shining armor." The tale as a whole is clearly Early Modern. But he is a clever and skilled writer, so his historical inaccuracies (in a time before extensive historical scholarship and research) may be overlooked.

Walpole's success is what he created. Very few authors have the ability, let alone the creativity, to create an entirely new genre. Even fewer authors have the ability to create a genre with such a broad impact. Gothic novels were huge in the Regency Era, and many 19th century authors, such as Austen, were influenced heavily by Gothic novels. Before Walpole, nothing compared to this type of novel, and his novel set the tone -- the standard -- for future Gothic novels. He spawned an entirely new idea, an idea which still influences culture today.

So if you like horror or mystery novels and are looking for something a little different, I highly suggest delving into Gothic romance. While authors such as Walpole and Radcliffe are forgotten in most literary circles today, their works are just as much of classics as Austen, Bronte, and Dickens, and infinitely more original and clever than modern authors.

Walpole, Horace. The Castle of Otranto: A Gothic Story. Edited by W S. Lewis. Oxford World's Classics. Oxford England: Oxford University Press, 1998.